Feet of Clay



Dana is sitting behind her desk and Natalie is sitting on her couch.

Dana: What time is it?

Natalie: It's 10:43, Dana.

Dana: Wasn't it 10:40 like three hours ago?

Natalie: That's one way to say it.

Dana: What's another way to say it?

Natalie: That it was 10:40 like three minutes ago.

Dana: Oooooh.

Dana buries her head into her desk.

Natalie: Dana?

Dana: Yes?

Natalie: You want to talk about it?

Dana: No.

Natalie: Are you sure?

Dana: No.

Natalie: You're not sure?

Dana lifts her head off the desk.

Dana: I am sure.

Natalie: You just said you weren't sure.

Dana: I didn't.

Natalie: I asked if you were sure and you said 'No'.

Dana: I meant yes.

Natalie: Yes, you want to talk about it?

Dana: Yes, I'm sure that I do not want to talk about it. And anyway, I don't know what you're talking about.

Natalie: I never know what you're talking about.

Dana: Natalie-

Natalie: Yes, ma'am?

Dana gets up and looks out her window.

Dana: Natalie?

Natalie: Hmm?

Dana: What time is it?

Natalie: Ten forty-four. He'll be here.

Dana: He said he'd be here in plenty of time.

Natalie: He will be.

Dana: If he was going to be here in plenty of time, Natalie, he would be here right now.

Natalie: Actually, if he was going to be here in plenty of time, that would mean that there would be plenty of time between the moment when he left and the moment when he returned.

Dana turns toward Natalie.

Dana: What?

Natalie: Never mind.

Dana: Natalie?

Natalie: Still 10:44. It's 16 minutes till the show starts. He'll be here.

Dana lowers her head.

Dana: I still haven't bought Casey his birthday present.

Natalie: Really?

Dana: And, you know, tomorrow's his birthday.

Natalie: Actually, it's in one hour and 16 minutes- now one hour and fifteen minutes.

Dana: I know.

Natalie: He'll be here.

Dana: I know.

Natalie: What does Casey want?

Dana: I don't know.

Natalie: Did you ask him?

Dana: Yes.

Natalie: Then what's the problem?

Dana: The problem is this- it is his first birthday with us as a couple.

Natalie: You and Casey.

Dana: Yes-

Natalie: Because I didn't think we were dating.

Dana: Whatever. Anyway, I want this to be special. I want to get him something he'll remember forever.

Natalie: So, you've thought of nothing.

Dana: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Natalie: All righty.

Dana: What's Dan doing?

Natalie: Setting up a time to interview Kozwalski tomorrow.

Dana: Good. What's Jeremy doing?

Natalie: He's writing a letter to Louise.

Dana: Oh, that's nice. How is she doing?

Natalie: She got back today. Jeremy says she's doing good.

Dana: Good. Isaac?

Natalie: Don't know.

Dana: Hmmm.

Natalie: Dana?

Dana: Yes?

Natalie: What are you thinking?

Dana: I'm thinking I need a man's opinion. I need to know what to get Casey, and that means getting inside the mindset of a man.

Natalie: I know somebody you could ask.

Dana: Who?

Natalie: Casey. Wait, you've already done that.

Dana: Natalie, please.

Natalie: Lingerie.

Dana: Huh?

Natalie: Buy Casey some lingerie.

Dana: He doesn't wear lingerie! I do!

Natalie: Exactly.

Dana: Ahhh...

Natalie: Yes.

Dana: I get him lingerie for me to wear-

Natalie: Yes.

Dana sits back at her desk.

Dana: No.

Natalie: Why not?

Dana: Casey wouldn't want that.

Natalie: So you're telling me Casey wouldn't want to see you in some sexy lingerie on his birthday? Any warm-blooded male wants nothing more than to see his girlfriend dressed up in lingerie, stockings, and high heels on his birthday. Actually, any day would be fine, but especially on his birthday.

Dana: Natalie-

Natalie: What's your size?

Dana: Natalie!

Natalie: I'll make a phone call, and we can get it here in time for Casey's surprise birthday party.

Dana: Don't you dare.

Natalie: It's no problem.

Dana: Natalie, call places.

Natalie: But I've got time.

Dana: Natalie, call places.

Natalie: Dana-

Dana: Call places!

Natalie: Okay, okay.

Natalie smiles at Dana, but Dana's glare goes right through Natalie. Natalie leaves the office and closes the door behind her.

Natalie walks down the hallway and into the newsroom. She looks around and sees Chris and Will on the other side. She first motions with one arm to grab their attention. After failing, she motions with both arms. Chris and Will notice Natalie trying to get their attention.


After the show tonight, many of us are going down to a restaurant, Tony Anthony's, to surprise Casey with a birthday party. There will be cake, presents, and singing. It will also mark the first time I get to meet Natalie's new boyfriend, Michael. Yes- and please don't overreact- Natalie has moved on and so have I.

Natalie: Guys? Grab Dave and let's get to ready one.

Chris: Now?

Will: Isn't it early?

Natalie: Dana asked me to get everybody ready.



Natalie walks into the control room. She, and the rest of the "Sports Night" crew, are in different outfits, signifying a flashback scene.

Natalie: Are we ready, baby?!

Dana: Were you talking to me or to the room as whole?

Natalie: I am talking to anybody who is willing to listen.

Kim: Natalie calls Dana "baby"?

Dana: I am not listening, I refuse to listen.

Dave: Dana?

Dana: Huh?

Dave: Do you hear Tina in Los Angeles?

Dana: Yeah. Why?

Dave: Just checking.

Natalie takes her seat next to Dana and puts on her headset.

Kim: (into headset) Please preview six for me.

Chris: Three is on standby.

Kim: I asked for six.

Chris: I was talking to Will.

Will: You were?

Dave: Three's on standby, sixty seconds to VTR, two minutes live, previewing six.

Chris: I was talking to you.

Will: But Dave handled it.

Chris: Because you dropped the ball.

Will: I wasn't even involved.

Dana: Hey! Felix? Oscar? We've got a show to do.

Natalie leans in front of Dana and turns on the mic.

Dana: Excuse me...

Natalie: (into mic) Dan? Casey? Are you guys ready?

Dan and Casey are sitting at the anchor desk.

Dan: We're ready, Natalie.

Natalie leans back toward the mic.

Natalie: (into mic) No. Are you guys really ready?

Dan looks over at Casey.

Casey: Do Dan and I have tonight's copy and not last night's copy?

Natalie: (into mic) Yup.

Casey: Did anything change?

Natalie: (into mic) Nope.

Dana: Natalie, would you please...

Casey: Anything at all?

Natalie: (into mic) Nothing.

Casey: I think we're ready.

Natalie: (into mic) Guys-

Casey: (to Dan) Just play along.

Dan: We're ready!

Natalie: (into mic) That's what I like to hear, Dan. Now you Casey.

Dan smiles at Casey as Casey looks in to the control room.

Casey whirls his finger above his head.

Casey: Woo hoo! I'm ready.

Natalie sits back in her seat while Dana stares at her.

Dana: What has gotten into you?

Natalie: Oh, Dana. You should have seen him tonight.

Dana: Michael?

Natalie: Oh god, yes, Dana. He can dance and write. The way he spoke. His grasp on the English language.

Jeremy: I take it he has a profound vocabulary.

Natalie: This doesn't involve you, Jeremy, but yes- he is a master of expression.

Dana: That good, huh?

Natalie: And I could see his rippling muscles through his taut shirt.

Dana: Really?

Natalie: Not really. I imagined it that way. But he implanted that vision in my head.

Jeremy: Has he started making a living off writing?

Natalie: Not yet, but I can see a breakthrough coming soon.

Dave: VTR up. Sixty seconds, live.

Jeremy: He's a bartender and he's writing a screenplay on napkins.

Dana: He's writing a screenplay about napkins?

Jeremy: He doesn't keep a pad of paper within reach, so he uses napkins to write and record scenes, and then he stuffs the napkins into his pockets. It must be some story.

Natalie: And a beautiful story it is.

Jeremy: I'll believe it when I see it.

Natalie: Very soon, Jeremy. Very soon. He's meeting with people.

Dana: What people?

Natalie: I don't know. People in the business.

Dana: Hmmm... really that good, huh?

Natalie: You need to come to a reading.

Dana: And he'll make me envision rippling muscles and tight shirts?

Natalie: And even more if you free your mind.

Dana nods her head.

Dana: I need to check it out.

Elliott walks in and hands Jeremy a note. Jeremy then passes it to Dana.

Elliott: Catalina Breeze has been scratched from the race tomorrow. The trainer said the swelling has gone down, but not enough for clearance to race.

Dana: Okay. Kim- feed Dan the update. Elliott- can we get an interview?

Elliott: With the horse?

Dana: I want the trainer, the owner, and the jockey.

Elliott: We'll get them-

Dana: Great.

Elliott: -when they have the press conference tomorrow morning at 11.

Dana: We're covering the race.

Elliott: Yes.

Dana: We're covering the race live. We should get an exclusive interview since we are the only network to carry this race live.

Elliott: They said we are not privy to exclusive privileges. You want me to remind them that we own the rights?

Dana: Tell them that and tell them Dana Whitaker said so.

Elliott: Okay.

Elliott starts to turn away.

Natalie: Elliott?

Elliott: Yes, Natalie?

Natalie: Need any words of wisdom or words of encouragement?

Elliott: You want me to come to your boyfriend's reading.

Natalie: Trust me. You will be inspired.

Elliott: I'll bring napkins.

Jeremy: And not the earth-friendly recycled paper ones either. I hear they don't hold ink as well as the regular paper napkins.

Elliott leaves the control room.

Dave: In 5, 4, 3, 2...

Casey: (on-air) Good evening, from New York City, I'm Casey McCall sitting alongside Dan Rydell. You're watching Sports Night on CSC...

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